More Than Words by Nikki

Do you remember the measuring tape in Mary Poppins? It measured the children and told the kids about their personalities? I remember Jane being rather inclined to giggle, a trait I share. Then of course, when Mary measured herself, it said she was “practically perfect in every way”. Well, I have been measured and if I was using that same tape mine would definitely say “practically imperfect in every way”.

It’s ok. I am entirely okay with imperfect. I know I set such high standards for myself that there is no way I could be perfect even if I tried with all my might. This month I have had to settle for less than perfect more than ever. But during this time when I am not measuring up to my impossible-to-attain daily standard I have learned that I am the ONLY one who cares. Not in a bad way but in an amazingly freeing way.

You see, I haven’t had a spare moment to edit 3 podcast interviews I had before the entire family got sick, last week I didn’t post in my blog AND I am weeks behind in my script editing. I allowed myself to feel bad about all of these things. Jobs I have given myself. Even though during this time I was still doing a million other things including caring for sick kids with a fractured arm, I allowed myself to feel TERRIBLE about it. As though someone out there was thinking, “Wow Nikki hasn’t released a podcast in 2 weeks. I don’t think I can listen to what she has to say anymore.” I know personally, I have never thought something like that about anyone ever, so why would I assume others would think that of me.

Everyone has so much going on every single day that most of the world is too busy to worry about what another person was able to accomplish in their day. I have no clue what any of my friends or family had on their schedule this weekend or if they found time to do all of the things and their laundry. I don’t know if you are perfect or as imperfect as I am, and that is wonderful. It means that we can allow ourselves to do our best and at the end of the day let it go. I will accomplish all of the stuff I want to do. I will chase after all of my biggest dreams. I will attain my goals. But everything on that list doesn’t have to happen today.

Don’t worry if you feel like you aren’t measuring up to the imaginary expectations you have put on yourself, no one else is paying attention. I promise. If you happen to find Mary’s tape today, just imagine it says, “Doing an amazing job, keep at it.”